Do-Gooders Are Unpopular Team Members

Scientist Craig Parks published a study that revealed that over-achievers are often resented by their co-workers. When reached for comment his co-workers said, “Fuck that guy.”

Via Wired

Experimental Pain Ray Used On Prisoners

An L.A. prison is currently using an experimental pain ray that causes burning sensations. Until the devices is ready for mass use, prisoners will get the burning sensation the old fashioned way. Herpes.

Via Popular Science

Government Worker plays hooky for 12 years

A government employee in Virginia got payed almost $500,000 for a job that she did not show up for once in her 12 years as an employee. The only other person in DC who made more money for not working was George W. Bush.

Man Shot In Head Finds Out Five Years Later

A Polish man was shot in the head and was so drunk he didn't realize that he'd been shot until five years later. Hopefully soon he'll find the penis drawn on his face. 

Via Huffington Post

Paris Hilton Arrested for Cocaine Possession

Paris Hilton was arrested Friday night for cocaine possession. See kids, there is glamor in crack whoring.

Via The Hollywood Reporter

Bristol Palin to join Dancing With The Stars?

Bristol Palin is rumored to be joining the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars. But, since it’s Bristol Palin, this engagement is likely be canceled.

Via Yahoo

Pentagon Identified Security Problem

It was revealed this week that the a significant U.S. military security breach was caused by a flash drive. The Pentagon said they’ve made significant progress on this issue, but now they can't get the computer to display the correct time.

Via The Washington Post

Construction Workers Protest Ground Zero Mosque

Men dressed as construction workers protested the proposed Ground Zero Mosque. They were joined by a police officer, an indian, and the rest of the Village People.

Via Huffington Post

Apple Executive stashed $150,000 in shoe boxes.

It was revealed that an Apple executive had over $150,000 hidden in shoe boxes in his home. It was an honest mistake though, in his safe, 6 pairs of Crocs.

Via SF Gate

Jewel set to perform at the Prime Time Emmy Awards

Jewel is set to perform at the Prime Time Emmy Awards. I’m personally looking forward to seeing this performance 12 years ago.

Via The Hollywood Reporter