TSA Agent does job, USA loses it's mind

John Tyner, a man flying out of San Diego, was stopped by TSA and asked to submit to either a body scan or a full body pat down but told the TSA agent, "If you touch my junk I'll have you arrested." He was escorted out of the airport and the video of Tyner telling the TSA agent to keep his hands to himself has become an internet sensation. This brings me to a rant I like to steal called, "Really?!?"

Really John Tyner? If you touch my junk I'll have you arrested? You're 31 years old and you're still calling your genitals your junk? If you call your penis “junk” you shouldn't be flying, you should be rolling around on a Razor scooter while your Heelys are being re-laced. I mean really. And did you really think you could have a TSA agent arrested for doing a security check? Who’s gonna arrest him another TSA agent? I mean really.

Here's a photo of John Tyner. I have some shocking news for you Mr. Tyner, the TSA agent wasn't excited about having to give you a pat down. When you refused he was probably relieved he didn't have to check the inner thigh thigh of Goat Boy. I mean really. Do you think people are lusting after your body? Really? When a cute sorority girl goes through this and complains that the TSA agents checked her wantonly, then I’ll believe it may have been unprofessional. But, when it’s you John Tyner, the ugly version of Napolean Dynamite, it’s as unlikely an interesting Stephenie Meyer novel. 

And really John Tyner, you blog under the name Johnny Edge? What are you a rejected Marvel character whose super power is possessing teenage like homophobia? I mean really.

And supports of Tyner, really? The Terrorists have won if we're allowing people to get pat down in airports? Cause I'm pretty sure they're chalking up wins after planes explode. One of the first comments on Tyner's blog was "Rosa Parks would be proud" by an anonymous commenter. Really, Rosa Parks would be proud? I guess you're right Rosa Parks did say, "I would like to be remembered as a person who wanted to be free... from people messing with my goodies.” And what if another man had looked into the TSA agent’s eyes, said, “If you touch my junk I’ll have you arrested” and the TSA agent had let him through? What if that happened, and it turned out to be a terrorist and the guy had flown the plan into the San Diego Padre’s stadium Petco Park? Sure, it wouldn’t have hurt too many people, cause who the fuck would watch a Padre’s game, I mean really. The TSA isn’t giving you jump in a bounce house. It’s a plane, if you don’t like the security that comes with it, take a unicycle. I MEAN REALLY.

via The Boston Herald
via The Los Angeles Times
via John Tyner's Blog