Larry King getting into stand up

Larry King is planning to do a comedy tour once he's finished with Larry King Live. King said stand-up is what he loves, so, rest assured he will divorce stand-up within a year or two, that is assuming he lives that long.



via New York Magazine

Lady Gaga quits Facebook & Twitter

Lady Gaga is quitting her Facebook and Twitter until $1 million is donated to the charity Keep A Child Alive. That's right world, all you have to do is be selfish and keep your money, and you never have to hear from Lady Gaga again.

Ok, I broke my poker face. Get it? I made a reference to Lady Gaga. Donate, be nice, help out some people with AIDS, cause Lady Gaga's narcissism won't allow her to stay away from Twitter more than a week anyway. I guess if you have AIDS, then hold on to your money, but, don't tell me you have AIDS, you're only gonna bring me down. And I don't wanna hear anyone say they're not gonna donate because they have HIV, it's like, "I get it, you could have AIDS soon," and I could too if I get a blood transfusion in Mexico, but, you don't hear me complaining.

via CNET

Stop daydreaming, read this.

Harvard Psychologists found that people spend about 47 percent of their time daydreaming. When asked what the significance of this study is, a researcher said, "Huh, what? Sorry I was thinking about something else."


via ABC Los Angeles

Piano dealer caught cheating clients

Susan Gilner, a piano dealer in San Francisco, was sentenced to more than two years in a state prison for pocketing proceeds from sales that were owed to her clients. Luckily for Gilner the crime wasn't committed in Texas, where the punishment for this crime is execution by piano falling.

via SF Gate

TSA Agent does job, USA loses it's mind

John Tyner, a man flying out of San Diego, was stopped by TSA and asked to submit to either a body scan or a full body pat down but told the TSA agent, "If you touch my junk I'll have you arrested." He was escorted out of the airport and the video of Tyner telling the TSA agent to keep his hands to himself has become an internet sensation. This brings me to a rant I like to steal called, "Really?!?"

Really John Tyner? If you touch my junk I'll have you arrested? You're 31 years old and you're still calling your genitals your junk? If you call your penis “junk” you shouldn't be flying, you should be rolling around on a Razor scooter while your Heelys are being re-laced. I mean really. And did you really think you could have a TSA agent arrested for doing a security check? Who’s gonna arrest him another TSA agent? I mean really.

Here's a photo of John Tyner. I have some shocking news for you Mr. Tyner, the TSA agent wasn't excited about having to give you a pat down. When you refused he was probably relieved he didn't have to check the inner thigh thigh of Goat Boy. I mean really. Do you think people are lusting after your body? Really? When a cute sorority girl goes through this and complains that the TSA agents checked her wantonly, then I’ll believe it may have been unprofessional. But, when it’s you John Tyner, the ugly version of Napolean Dynamite, it’s as unlikely an interesting Stephenie Meyer novel. 

And really John Tyner, you blog under the name Johnny Edge? What are you a rejected Marvel character whose super power is possessing teenage like homophobia? I mean really.

And supports of Tyner, really? The Terrorists have won if we're allowing people to get pat down in airports? Cause I'm pretty sure they're chalking up wins after planes explode. One of the first comments on Tyner's blog was "Rosa Parks would be proud" by an anonymous commenter. Really, Rosa Parks would be proud? I guess you're right Rosa Parks did say, "I would like to be remembered as a person who wanted to be free... from people messing with my goodies.” And what if another man had looked into the TSA agent’s eyes, said, “If you touch my junk I’ll have you arrested” and the TSA agent had let him through? What if that happened, and it turned out to be a terrorist and the guy had flown the plan into the San Diego Padre’s stadium Petco Park? Sure, it wouldn’t have hurt too many people, cause who the fuck would watch a Padre’s game, I mean really. The TSA isn’t giving you jump in a bounce house. It’s a plane, if you don’t like the security that comes with it, take a unicycle. I MEAN REALLY.

via The Boston Herald
via The Los Angeles Times
via John Tyner's Blog

Prince William: Engaged!

Prince William just got engaged to his long time girlfriend Kate Middleton. Middleton will be the next Queen and inherit the vital responsibility of updating the Queen's Facebook page.

 via The New York Times

Amazon.com sells book offering advice to pedophiles

A recent controversy has arisen over Amazon.com selling a book called "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct." The book is only available in digital download, but is expected to be available in paper back once Roman Polanski's finishes the final draft.


via SF Gate

George W. Bush releases memoir

George W. Bush is releasing his self-authored memoir, Decision Points, tomorrow. This is the first presidential memoir to come in hardback, digital download, and pop-up.

via The New York Times

Meg Whitman Loses CA Governor's Race

Meg Whitman former eBay CEO lost the election for Governor of California. After sinking $141 million of her personal fortune into her bid for Governor, it seems like she should have just used the "Buy It Now" option.

via SF Gate

Rand Paul wins Senate seat

Rand Paul won his race for a Kentucky Senate seat last night. His supporters are happy he could stomp out the competition.





via New York Daily News

Christina Aguilera gets big bucks for private party

Christina Aguilera performed a one hour private show on Halloween and got paid roughly $1,000,000. This number pales in comparison to how much she usually gets paid to stop performing.


via TMZ

Pokemon creator dies at 61

The creator of the original Pokemon anime series, Takeshi Shudo, passed this weekend. Shudo was rushed to a hospital where he was declared to have 0 HP.

via Aussie Gamer