Thank you Note Thursday 1/27/11

Thank you President Obama for delivering the State of the Union. Now there’s one more thing I wont understand my friends talking about this weekend.

Thank you Jamba Juice for including a boost in my drink. For a second my strawberry surf rider was refreshing until I got a dust explosion of immunity directly to the uvula. Although I wont suffer from a cold any time soon, I will spend the next three minutes coughing uncontrollably.

Thank you Lady Gaga for releasing a perfume that is going to smell like blood and semen. Now my girlfriend can smell like a hooker with bronchitis.

Thank you payroll for forgetting to pay me. I’ve felt the shame of getting paid minimum wage before, but, begging for that same minimum wage was a new low.

Thank you Christina Aguilera and Fergie for singing at the Superbowl. Now my girlfriend’s co-worker ‘C’ is coming to my Superbowl party.


Thank you notes are the idea and property of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. I just wanna thank stuff too.